My Friends I have seen and read about how loss is an illusion. I disagree, we do experience loss, it is necessary to grieve for our losses, it is not an illusion. What the illusion is, is that we will never have again, that whatever loss we have experienced is the end all, be all.
This heartbreak is a gift, for it allows all the old sadness and pain to be remembered, relieved and to be healed, i.e. let go of. The experiencing of loss is to open our hearts, not close them. It is not the achievement of great spiritual bliss that is the goal at times like these. It is the allowance of being human and honoring our feelings as sacred. Letting ourselves grieve our losses is important. Grieving is true letting go, when we grieve, inside of ourselves we have truly recognized the need to let go, we have truly acknowledged something is over and will not come back to us.
Many years ago, when I was still living in Santa Fe, I was working with a very powerful healer, during this time I had such levels of grief and dismay that I literally could not process or express my feelings at all.
During this time, over a several day period, I kept being told about, hearing others discuss the final episode of Grey’s Anatomy and how I should watch it, how others around me were going to watch this finale.
At first I shrugged this off, as I had not up till this time watched ANY of Grey’s Anatomy, not one show all the years it was on. Yet, as the universe does do, it kept bringing me this information again and again. Closer and closer in time and date. So, finally the day of the grand finale was upon me. That night I went home, turned on my television and tuned in to the final show of the season.
Having not seen this show before I did not know what to expect, and quite frankly in my head I already had judged the show and my actions as an useless endeavor. I sat down and began to watch the show. Halfway into the show I began to sob deeply and to cry from what felt like the tips of my toes.
Then this phenomenon happened for me as I was crying deeply and loudly, my crying began to take on different voices, as if at least seven generations of my ancestors were crying through, with and for me.
I could hear the different depths as these voices cried themselves out through me. I cried all the way through the show and then some. When I was done crying, I was done crying, I knew, and it felt to me that something big had truly finished. I had cried out years of my own grief, mega years, and generations of grief from my ancestors. The next morning when I awoke I felt better then I had ever felt in my life, I had been freed from a burden that was so deep and large that when it was gone I was a different woman.
We have been taught that if we stuff our feelings, deny our feelings, or just wait them out, that our feelings will resolve and heal themselves, therefore just go away. No, that is not the way it works, only when we let our feelings out are we freed, truly freed from our past.
In doing so, in letting our feelings out, we come to trust, faith and patience. Trusting that the Great Divine does know what it is doing with our hearts, and our lives. Faith that this too shall pass. Maturing into a patience that allows us to be and live in the moment. Remember ALL experience is part of the Divine, and the Divine plan. All experience is for the task at hand and the joy of coming back home.
Please do not stuff your feelings, get help, support, and love in those times of great loss, hurt and fear. From the Great Earth, the Great Heavens, from the four legged ones, and the two legged ones.
This is about loving, not judging, not pushing emotions away, there must be a balance in all of this. You are safe, you will not be left alone, not at all. Spirit, Spirit is all around you.
Much Love
~ Amaya Victoria