“Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under the trees on a summer’s day, listening to the murmur of water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time”
“Sometimes the most urgent thing you can possibly do is take a complete rest”
Several days ago I was scrolling through my home page on Facebook.
As I was scrolling down the page I came upon a post from a young woman. In the post she was sharing about an injury she had sustained to one of her legs and foot. I did not read the post fully, glancing at it though I saw this line. “And at least now I am being able to put pressure on the foot in an attempt to walk.”
As I read this sentence two thoughts occurred to me.
“I am wondering why we do not allow ourselves to just rest. And accept comfort.”
We get injured, taken ill, we are exhausted, or healing. Yet, the permission to rest or except comfort. From GOD and others seems to be an elusive process.
I am speaking about the place in which we need, truly need the rest.
Why then is it that we do not allow ourselves to just rest? Is there something in so many of us, a trained place of judgment?
When I was a child my mother taught me that I was being lazy if I rested, if I took time off, if I took sick. Her motto was “if you are not on deaths door, you are getting up and going to school.” It mattered not to her that my body needed time to rest, I was sick, not enough to be hospitalized, yet I was ill.
From those formative years I became afraid to accept circumstances as they were. This one programming caused me a discomfort, a shame across the board. Not only did I struggle for many years when I became sick about taking time to rest and heal.
This judgment began to flourish into a place of “having to get it all done” alone. I could not rest, because there was so much to do. I could not rest because surely there would be no one there to help me. Bear in mind I did not ask others for help, I had a disbelief that other’s would want to help, or show up unasked and help. I could not let go to such a degree, that one of my lovers years ago said to me, i.e. to the air, as I was running around not sitting still. “And there she goes again, God forbid she sits down and finishes watching this show with me.”
I could not rest because I was filled with a belief that I had to “get” somewhere, and “achieve” something. Workaholism became my middle name. I was running myself into the ground. I was destroying this wonderful body of mine, all I knew was fear. Fear of not having enough money. Fear of not taking care of others enough. Fear of God,
Fear of the surrender that must come when we let go and allow ourselves to live in this moment.
Guilt was my bed mate, if I were to let go, relax, trust, and enjoy. I was surely not being or living by the teachings of God which at the time for me was about over responsibility. As I look back at all of this now. I can see how twisted and distorted my concept of God truly was.
Years ago I had traveled to Phoenix, Arizona for a week-long conference. At this conference one of the presenters was Oriah Mountain Dreamer. Oriah was facilitating a workshop. The premise of the workshop was to find out what word we had come in to master.
There were over 100 of us souls in the room with Oriah as she took us through the process of finding the word that was our destiny word in this lifetime.
As instructed by Oriah I asked for my word, I really believed I was going to get a word like. Clarity, spirituality, healing, evolution etc.
This was not the case, as I was sitting there in a deep visualization state I saw and heard the word “freedom.” Being who I am, I decided that word was the wrong word for me, I pushed it away inside of myself. For many moments the word “freedom” and I were in a headlock together. I saying, “No, this cannot be correct.” And the word “freedom” reappearing again and again in front of me, in my visual field. Finally, one of my guides, a male indigenous chieftain leaned around from behind me, he placed his index finger on my chest and the word “freedom” blazed open. Then I believed, I cannot tell you how or why, I just knew at that moment that the word “FREEDOM” was mine.
After Oriah brought us all back from our internal quest she asked the group if anyone would like to share the word they were given. My hand, as if pulled up by an invisible string rose into the air. I spoke to her and the group of my experience. When I was done Oriah looked at me intensely for several moments. She then asked me, “Do you know what the greatest freedom there is?” I shook my head, no. Looking at me kindly and then letting her gaze roam across this crowded room, she said loud and clear.” The greatest freedom anyone can achieve is the freedom from fear.”
I was grateful and I prayed at that moment that I be totally freed from fear. You see, I believe now after many years we cannot truly surrender unless we have been drained of Psychotic fear.
Freedom my destiny word. In order for me to be truly free I was here to climb the ladder of fear, and LEAP from the top of the ladder into the unknown. I was on the fast track to face all of my fear.
As I stated at the beginning of this blog, all my unrest was based in fear. There came a time in my life that all my task was, was to face every fear I had full on. And so it began.
I moved to Santa Fe, I was there but three months and my life blew apart. Long story short, after five years I left Santa Fe, stripped to the bone.
Eventually I moved to Los Angeles, where I still reside. Here I was placed in the hands of men and women who have cradled and held me close as I have gone through six years of very deep physical ill health.
From this experience I have learned to ask for help, to believe people would show up without me even asking. Every judgment I consumed, assumed and lived from my childhood was rebutted. I was changed.
What this comes down to I believe, what I am really writing about I think, is our becoming like children again. This time listening to our physical bodies, listening to our healthy minds, listening to our hearts and souls.
We have been afraid to rest in the palm of GOD’S hand, we have been afraid to rest in the next moment, however it develops, whatever we are feeling. To open, like the lotus flower, turning our faces to the sun, to the heavens. Eyes almost fully closed, a pleased look on our faces, to sop up all that light that is our birthright. That is our destiny.
There is scientific proof that when we rest, we heal and rejuvenate on every level. It is my belief that in our sleep state, in dream time, we do some of our most powerful work, for ourselves and each other. That in this state of rest we are taught by the spiritual masters, the heavens.
Here it is then, rest your minds now, this is it, surrender. Make your plans, chop your wood, and carry your water. Make your insides well on every level, do this with effort. Rest now in the trust that as you move along you are well taken care of. Rest yourselves so deeply.
Take time now, take all the time you need to rest in the smile of GOD. For surely you are truly, without a doubt fully and deeply loved.
Rest now, yes BELOVED ONE’S you can, you need to, please do, rest.
~Amaya Victoria